My Coming Out…Happy Pride!

I have identified as bisexual since I was 11, even if I didn’t understand what it was at that time as I just saw it as being attracted to both boys and girls. However growing up with a father who was from the deeply religious southern United States (Arkansas) and was a extremely Southern Baptist, was quite challenging. I was made aware at a young age that I would not be accepted any other way than straight by him and that bringing home someone of the same sex would not be tolerated. My mom on the other hand was a hippie who had been raised Catholic and had been forced to go to an all girls school. She had many friends back then that were homosexual including her best friend and she raised me in an environment of acceptance.

When I was twenty-one my dad died from cancer after a long three year battle, which led to an even more strained relationship. We never had the chance to heal that rift that had been created between us… this lead me to disowning a piece of myself, yet longing to allow myself to be free to accept her fully. I survived several abusive relationships and sexual assaults, one failed marriage and one successful one, all to men. I also had a child which I became a single mom to at twenty-two.

Fast forward fifteen years to 2019 when my now teenage kiddo felt safe enough to come to me as a lesbian and then a year later as non-binary. These two moments woke me up and had me realizing I was living only a half life and if my teenager could be their true selves why the fuck couldn’t I!?!?

So I started on a journey in late 2019 to come back home to myself and embrace the parts of me that I had disowned, regardless of what anyone thought, including my spouse. I was scared as I truly loved my husband and didn’t want to lose that, however I knew that I owed it to myself to discover this hidden piece of me. Then COVID-19 hit and I almost went back into hiding until I started doing the deeper healing work with my shadow-self and my inner children. These past 21 months have been ones of exploring who I am and who I wish to be. I no longer desire playing small or living half lives. So in honor of Pride month I am officially coming out! I am so blessed and grateful to have the support of my family as well as their continued love. My husband has been one of the single most supportive people during this time. He has held my hand and given me so much love, even when it meant me figuring out my truth, which could have easily lead to us separating. Thankfully our marriage has survived and we have found something that works for us (a subject for another blog).

In honor of the journey I have been on and this being Pride Month, I decided to officially make this my coming out. So here is is: I am a Bisexual Woman who is in a Ethically Non-Monogamous marriage and it works for us as it gives us the freedom to fully express and live as ourselves. I am so grateful to have the partner I do and that he supports me fully. My dream for our society is that ALL individuals will have the same opportunity to embrace and love themselves as they authentically are and that society will finally wake up as a whole to realize that LOVE IS LOVE and ALL individuals are worthy and deserving of love NO MATTER their GENDER, SEXUALITY, RACE, ETC.

Please know you have a safe space with me always and I love you, ALL of YOU! I am a Safe-Haven for anyone who needs and please know that if you are not accepted by others, I ALWAYS accept you and welcome you into my family.

Shandra Shultz

Owner of Healings of Light & Love by Shandra. Lightworker, Spiritual Midwife, Shamanic Reiki Master Teacher, Shadow-work Coach, EFT Practicitioner, Oracle Reader, Mystic (she/her)

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