I just realized that this is only the 1st time in my life since my daughter being born in May 15 years ago that I have ever taken something else from the point of creation and brought it all the way to birthing it feels as if the journey I’ve been on has coincided in the last 6 months with coming to this point and I’m finally ready to blossom just like the fruit that I have bared. It’s very synchronistic I guess is the word I choose to use.
I hadn’t remembered the first time due to my brain trauma, so this has been so therapeutic for me as I am finally finding what brings me joy in creating life, it has given me the closure I felt I needed to move forward with regards to coming to terms with never being able to birth another child when all I ever wanted was a piece of the man I married as a sign of our love. With his brain trauma he isn’t the same person and while I’m glad now that we couldn’t have a child (man that would have been horrible for the child and so not fair), it has allowed me to also go through the grieving process as with every failed growth, I felt as if I had failed bc I wasn’t fertile anymore. I came to realize that it wasn’t meant and I can grow other things in other ways and birth that way, including the next level me.
2020 has been a crazy chaotic ride so far with so much transformation and change. I am so grateful and blessed to finally see the truth of who I am…. I AM a Creatrix! I am here to co-create a life of love, laughter and adventure with spirit and I am so excited to do so.